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What Men and Women Want, Part 3

When you consider all the myths about what the opposite sex wants from a relationship, it's no wonder so many singles are resentful and frustrated with the opposite sex.

Men believe women primarily want them for security reasons and women believe men primarily want them for sex or to be caregivers. This explains why both men and women often feel used as soon as they enter a new relationship.

Neither gender feels valued as a human being, but only for how they can satisfy the needs of the other. Both deeply resent each other and play out this resentment in intimate relationships. Fortunately, none of what each gender believes the other wants is actually true for the majority of the population.

Over the past few weeks, we've taken a close look at what men and women really want from the opposite sex in order to create fulfilling, happy relationships.

Many, many women are secure financially, socially, and emotionally without men. Most women do not look for a man or for a relationship for security reasons at all, but instead look for a deep partnership. Women want a best friend, a playmate, a partner in the deepest sense.

Many, many men look at women as much more than sexual objects or caregivers. It is not that men do not find women attractive or do not want to be nurtured. It is that men want a best friend, a playmate, a partner in the deepest sense as well.

So what's going on here? Why does each gender have a skewed view of what the other wants?

My theory is that this behavior dates back to a time when me nand women had to deal with survival first and foremost, whether economic or physical. Women did need and want men for security. Women depended on men first for their survival, and later for social standing and financial support. Men, who were busy hunting and protecting and later providing for their wives, family, and often parents, did not have room to be emotional. They rightly expected to be taken care of and got tenderness, love, and affection through sex.

We as a society have grown. And yet we still hold onto the beliefs that the opposite sex values us for nothing more than what we could have provided a hundred or more years ago.

Can we give each other credit for growth and development? Can we attribute changes and growth of our society to the growth and development of the individual? Can we honestly say it is possible for women AND men to want love and partnership?

Can you see the opposite sex differently, letting go of what you have come to the believe as a result of your life experiences and giving "them" another chance?

If you want to try, start to simply look and listen, but here is the key, with brand new eyes and ears. Shake off what you know and be open to being surprised.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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