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Ten Things You Never Knew About Relationships

When you finally attract and build a healthy relationship, a
whole new world of realizations opens up to you. You finally
understand how relationships work and what deep, true love
really looks like.

Today I'll share ten things you will realize once you are in a
healthy relationship.

1. You did not know your soul mate right away.

When you met you soul mate, you did not know him or her by
fanfare and the rush of hormones. You only knew him or her by a
very gentle tug on your heart.

2. Relationships rarely look like romantic movies or books.

Imaginary people fall in love quickly and live happily ever
after. Real people fall into real love slowly and live fully
ever after. It took you about 6 to 9 months to appreciate your
partner enough to think about falling in love with him or her.

3. It takes years to really get to know someone.

The gift of being human is our complexity. Is it possible to
know someone in a week, a month, a few dates? Can you reveal all
of your complexity in that short amount of time? How long does
it take someone to truly know you? It took you years to truly
get to know your partner.

4. Great relationships are completely worth the effort.

There is nothing like being in a great relationship. There is
nothing like being seen and known by the one you love, and
seeing and loving back. You are grateful you have this gift,
even though it took a lot of work to get here.

5. In spite of lots of bad relationships, a great relationship
is possible.

It doesn't matter if you have been "unlucky in love." All that
matters is that you have taken the steps necessary to build a
great relationship. These were different steps than the ones you
have taken in the past. If you had to do this again, you would
know exactly what to do.

6. A relationship is like a living being; it needs love,
caring, space, etc.

People tend to either ignore or smother relationships. In the
first case they ignore their partner, thinking that a
relationship, once established, will always be there. Or in the
other extreme, they spend every moment with their partner, give,
and expect undivided attention. If you had a pet, how would it
survive under such conditions?

But you know better, you give your relationship the time,
attention, and space it needs.

7. Your relationship doesn't have to be like your parents'.

Regardless of the models and worldview of the previous
generations, your life still belongs to you. You have chosen how
you do your relationships, instead of blindly doing or thinking
something just because it comes naturally.

8. You have a great relationship because you don't need one.

Your life is wonderful and having a relationship is not its
focus. This is why you attracted the right mate. You know that
heaving a great life is not at all the same as forcing yourself
not to think about relationships or shutting down out of
disappointment.

9. There is no such thing as boredom in a relationship.

There may be anger, resentment, shut down, but never boredom.
How can you get bored with your partner when your needs are
being met, when you have great communication, when you feel
loved and love back? Could you ever be bored with that? What
people think of as boredom is actually the accumulated weight of
unspoken resentments and anger squeezing the life out a
relationship.

10. Good sex does not mean a good relationship.

Looking back, you know sex is not how you connected with you
partner. The two of you have created a romantic relationship
you enjoy. And from that, you have created a sex life you enjoy.
Now you know that when you meet someone, you need to get to know
them first and not audition them for a sex partner.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your
ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship,
or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"


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