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Give Up to Get Love

Many times when people want to attract their ideal partner,
they often make a list of things to do -- action steps, if you
will -- that will help them meet "the one." They add new
activities into their routine, join dating services, write
singles ads. They may start an exercise program or buy new
clothes in an effort to look better. They let their friends know
they're "in the market."

Seldom do people think of giving up something as a way to
attract Mr. or Ms. Right. Well, this is not entirely true.
People may give up such things as smoking or overeating. But the
kind of "giving-up" I'm referring to is about your beliefs,
attitudes and feelings. Giving up something in one of these
three areas is more likely to lead you to your Mr. or Ms. Right.

Here is a list of five things you should consider giving up if
you want to attract your Mr. or Ms. Right:

1. Give up anger at the opposite sex.
You can tell when people have a chip on their shoulders. And
yet those who are angry and disappointed with the opposite sex
think their feelings are undetectable. If you can truly give up
the anger, you have a much better chance of attracting the
partner you want.

2. Give up on your past relationships.
Most of us can tell when someone is unavailable or ambivalent
about dating because of an unfinished relationship. If you hope
that one of your past partners will come back, others will be
able to tell. Your ideal partner will surely want a completely
available partner. You'll be hard pressed to attract him or her
until you are completely available.

3. Give up trying to be perfect in order to attract a mate.
As long as you think your body, your pocketbook or your
emotional well-being have to be in perfect shape in order to be
loved, you will remain alone. A state of perfection can seldom
be achieved - we are as human beings are inherently imperfect.
You are peachy just as you are for some lucky person out there.

4. Give up protecting yourself from hurt.
Lots of singles devise all sorts of tests to make sure
potential partners won't hurt them the way they were hurt in the
past. This never works because people know when they are being
tested and will either fake it or fail on purpose. Instead,
become the type of person who is seldom mistreated and who can
set strong, clear boundaries.

5. Give up looking for a relationship.
Looking for a relationship is like looking for a needle in a
haystack. Although singles ads and dating services have some
success, and are good for getting lots of dating experiences,
most people still meet their life partner by chance. Your best
bet for finding your Mr. or Ms. Right is to have a wonderful
life now.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your
ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship,
or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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