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Compassion, Part 2

Having compassion toward others is a gift of connectedness you
give yourself and a gift of presence you give others. While
difficult to define, compassion is a way of being, and you will
see the definition emerge among the three concepts presented here.

1. Compassion involves seeing others as "self."

No matter how different others are, or how different their
circumstances are from yours, we all want essentially the same
things from life. We want happiness, satisfaction and love. We
want connectedness, safety and understanding.

When you are struggling to feel compassion for others,
struggling to put yourself in their shoes, struggling to
understand what they are going through, remember this
similarity. Remember that everyone ultimately wants what you want.

2. Compassion does not involve self-sacrifice or martyrdom at
your expense.

When in a disagreement with someone -- whether your partner, a
friend or your boss -- remember to see the other as "self." At
the same time, be careful not to mistake compassion for being a
pushover. Don't justify another's behavior at the cost of your
feelings or discount your feelings.

Being compassionate in the context of disagreement means being
understanding, supportive and kind, while respecting and setting
your boundaries. You must be present to both simultaneously in
order to both take care of yourself and others.

3. Compassion gives you a sense of connectedness.

Having compassion means opening your heart to others. It also
means residing in your heart when interacting with others. This
can be especially challenging when compassion is most needed.
But it is well worth the effort.

When you show others compassion, they get to experience being
heard and cared for when most needed. This allows you to connect
with others in a meaningful way and feel more alive and loved.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your
ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship,
or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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