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Compassion, Part 1

"Before we can feel compassion for anyone else, we must learn
to feel compassion for ourselves."

Webster's Dictionary defines compassion as the sympathetic
consciousness of other's distress. But the first step toward
having compassion for others is having compassion for yourself.
It is the first step toward creating thriving relationships. It
is the first step toward moving forward and growing your life.

This is because we can never truly give to another if we are
empty, if we are tapped out, unnourished. Sure, we can push
ourselves to give even then. But the giving won't be genuine. At
the same time, giving to others while you are empty makes you
feel resentful. This is why it is extremely important to always
care for yourself first.

The last time you were sick, did you take care of yourself the
way you would a sick child? Did you fix your favorite meal,
sleep for hours on end, and take a day or two off from work? Or
did you instead push yourself through the discomfort and low
energy, all the time telling yourself you can't afford the time
to be sick?

The last time you were sad, did you hug yourself, take a good
long time to journal, and call a friend and pour your heart out?
Or did you instead continue with your routine, pushing yourself
even harder, telling yourself to get over it?

The last time you failed at something, did you look at all you
accomplished even in the failure, acknowledge your sadness, and
come up with a gentle, practical way to do better next time? Or
did you instead berate yourself endlessly, telling yourself what
you should have done differently and better, resolving to
succeed through sheer willpower?

Self-compassion is the ability to be present to your
shortcomings and vulnerability, your humanness, and still
perceive yourself as the precious, lovable human being you are.

Practice compassion for yourself because...

You are human, fragile, vulnerable and you need it as a
traveler in a scorching desert needs a regular drink of cool,
clear water to survive.

Without it you will not have the strength to achieve your
greatest aspirations, because you will need self-compassion to
deal with failures along the way.

You can be with and connect with others only to the degree
that you can be with and connect with your own humanity.

Practice compassion for yourself today. Start this very moment.
Meet your deepest need, take time for yourself, feel deeply your
emotions. This is what you were born for and you will blossom as
a result.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your
ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship,
or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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