|Ten Ways to Evolve, Part 2
Over the past decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals
seeking ways to improve their ability to attract their ideal
mate. As a result, I've created a list of ten most commonly
prescribed personal development steps I recommend for those
wanting to attract and create their ideal relationship. Last
week I shared the first half of the list. Today, we will round
out the list with the last five personal development steps.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the second half of this list is
much more difficult to accomplish than the first. Because of
this challenge, you may be tempted to dismiss these steps as
impossible, or even irrelevant. I urge you not to. In taking
these steps is the answer to the one question I get from every
single person I interact with: "How do I attract the kind of
partner I am looking for?"
To review, below are the first five steps. For details on these
steps, please read last week's newsletter at
1. Get complete with your past to break relationship patterns.
2. Ask for what you want in any relationship.
3. The more you want a relationship, have a laundry list, a
timetable for when it should occur, the less likely you are to
4. Don't try to change yourself to "fit" into a relationship.
5. Assess communication in your relationships.
Here is the second half of my top ten most popular relationship
6. One key to recognizing when you've made a poor choice in a
partner is when the other person seems to adore you from the
If a new relationship revolves around you, you need to know
this is more about the other person's need to be connected to
"someone" than it is about connecting with you personally.
A relationship such as this will cool off within a short period
of time. You will be left feeling the urge to chase the person
to continue to get the same amount of attention.
Take it very slow in the beginning of any relationship, even if
your new partner is pushing to speed it up. Only relationships
built slowly withstand the test of time.
7. Choose how to create a relationship.
Relationship choices are based on our parents' or care-givers'
relationships or lack thereof. If their relationship did not
work well, we are stuck with their painful relationship
patterns. The only way out is to clearly understand how their
relationships influenced our relationship choices and behaviors.
We need to consciously choose what works for us and what doesn't.
Look at your parents' or care-givers' relationships to see how
they parallel your relationship history. Then make a conscious
choice about how you want to create your relationships, which
beliefs and behaviors you want to leave behind and which you
want to keep.
You may need help doing this, as seeing one's own behavior can
be pretty difficult. As a relationship coach, I can help you
with this. For more on my services, see
8. It does not matter how many or few available partners there
are in your area.
You don't need to attract many partners; just one -- the right
one. Whether or not you are able to attract a partner depends on
how well you have dealt with your beliefs about relationships.
If you want to attract your ideal partner, look inside yourself
and find out what you honestly believe about relationships and
the opposite sex.
Again, this may be difficult to do alone, and I am here to help
as your relationship coach.
9. You must clearly know what you want in a relationship in
order to create it.
First, discover what kind of interaction you want to have with
an intimate partner. What is most important to you?
Then ask yourself what kind of a person would be suited to
naturally engage in that kind of interaction. What kind of
personality and lifestyle would a person need to have in order
to naturally fit into your life?
By answering these questions you can arrive at a clear
description of your ideal partner, which makes it easier to
attract him or her.
This is yet another area in which having a relationship coach
can be very useful. I can help you find clarity in whom you want
to attract and where such a person may spend his or her time.
10. Here is a simple recipe for attracting your ideal partner:
* Get complete with your past (see Step #1)
* Create a list of your ideal partner qualities (see Step #9)
* Ask yourself if you feel any other internal blocks preventing
you from having a relationship. Clear them out of the way, by
yourself or by getting help from me.
Use these personal development steps to attract your ideal
relationship. These are the only steps you need to take, and the
only steps that consistently work for creating relationships -
or anything else you may want.
Your Relationship Coach,
(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your
ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship,
or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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