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Staying in the Holiday Spirit

The holiday season can either be exiting and joyous, or
saddening and lonely. How you experience the holidays is
completely up to you. Really! Whether you feel sad or happy,
lonely or connected is completely up to you.

Your thoughts, your activities, and the kind of situations you
put yourself into generate your feelings. In other words, you do
not have to experience sad or unhappy holiday feelings unless
you want to. If you want to change how you feel, simply change
what you are doing, and this will change your feelings.

What makes you feel sadder during the holidays? What makes you
feel more disconnected, out of touch with the spirit of the

Right now make a quick list of the activities, or lack thereof,
that may make you sad or unhappy about the holidays. Do
something different about two of these right now.

Here are some more attitude-altering activities to help you
stay in (or get into) the holiday spirit:

* Doesn't feel like holidays at your house? Put up lights!
Decorate in holiday motif. Play holiday music and light candles.

* Don't have plans for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc.?
Volunteer! Helping those in need can do wonders for your
attitude. Or call up some friends and plan a small get together.

* Aren't looking forward to seeing family? Take interest in
each of your relatives as you speak to them, in a much deeper
way than ever before. You may enjoy them for a change.

* Exhausted from cooking and running around? Take an hour, half-
hour or even 15 minutes all to yourself. Don't do chores,
errands, clean up, etc. Don't do anything you have to do, even
if you feel guilty. Do whatever YOU like.

* Don't have plans for New Year's Eve? Make some now, whether
to see a show, a play, or get together with friends. Or
designate New Year's Eve as the time to reflect over the past
year and dream about the next year.

* Feel down or disconnected? Do something for someone else.
Volunteer, donate money, contribute or serve in some way. Get
involved in group activities.

* Feel a lack of spiritual connection to the holidays? Go back
to your roots in some way - go to church, light candles, pray,
write a gratitude list, meditate, etc.

* Not having fun? Play and be creative. Do something childlike,
even if you don't feel like it, even if you think it's silly,
even if you don't have time or don't want to bother. Better yet,
play with a child. You will find it deeply satisfying.

* Wishing you were in a relationship? Or, wishing your
relationship was better? Do a grand scale gratitude list for
what you do have and what is working in your life. It won't fix
the relationship situation, but it will fix your attitude.

Put yourself in the holiday spirit and enjoy the holidays!

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2001. Do you know what it takes to be
happy and fulfilled in your relationships? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!

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