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Clarifying Who You Are Seeking

People usually get what they want in one of two ways. Some
people have vivid clarity about their desired outcome and it
seems to magically materialize. Surely you know someone like
this, or perhaps you are even one of these people. To learn more
about how to attract an ideal mate in this way, read "The Power
of Unwavering Belief"
(http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter1to9/newsletter__7.shtml).

Other people cannot create what they want as easily. They must
first get clear about what they want, and then take action. If
you are this type of person and are single, you are likely using
classified ads, online dating services and other singles-related
avenues to meet your ideal mate. If so, the following set of
guidelines will help you create an attractive, powerful and
effective singles ad or listing by helping you clearly define
who you are seeking.

If you prefer not to use singles ads to attract a mate, you
still need to be very clear about who you are seeking in order
to attract your ideal partner. Below, you will find a set of
steps to help you clarify who you are seeking for a relationship.

First, keep the following three points in mind:

1. Even when you are taking action to find a partner, you won't
actually "find" a partner. You have to attract one, draw one to
you. This does not mean you shouldn't take action; it is simply
something to be aware of.

2. You attract what you believe. In terms of intimate
relationships, often you will attract people who reflect the
untransformed part of you. If you want to save time and
aggravation, work on yourself and your relationship patterns
before you begin trying to find or attract a partner.

3. Be clear on who you are, what you want and can offer in a
relationship. Be complete with your past. Be clear about your
past relationship patterns and why they are/were here. Take my
free "True Love Magnet™" quiz
(http://www.whatittakes.com/Quiz1/lovequiz.html) to learn what
you need to do in order to attract your ideal partner. If you do
not score well on the quiz, your search for a mate may yield a
relationship similar to what you have had in the past.

Below you are the steps for creating an effective ad, as well
as a separate set of steps for those who simply want to clarify
who they are seeking for a relationship.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Steps for writing an ad or a listing to attract your ideal mate:
----------------------------------------------------------------
1. Write down the qualities of your ideal partner. Be as
specific as possible.

2. What type of person would your ideal partner be attracted
to? Looking through your ideal partner's eyes, make your best
guess and write it down. Don't automatically assume all of the
qualities will describe you. Be as specific as possible.

3. Does the list in #2 describe you? If not, are you willing to
grow and change so that it does? If not, go back and rewrite
your description of your ideal partner and describe a person who
will be attracted to the qualities you have.

4. Pick out the most meaningful, attractive qualities you wrote
down in #2 and use them to write a description of yourself. This
will be the first part of your classified ad or listing. The
length of the description will depend on where you are placing
the ad.

5. Write a detailed description of the type of relationship you
want.

6. Would your ideal partner in #1 want the same type of
relationship? If not, start over. If yes, what would appeal to
him/her the most? What words could you use to describe the
essence of the relationship you envision?

7. In the second section of your ad or listing, make an offer
specifically targeted to your ideal partner. Incorporate items
from #6 into your offer. For example, if you think clear
communication would be appealing to your ideal partner, and it
is something you both want and are able to give, your offer may
sound something like, "In this relationship you can have the
best communication of your life."

8. Finish your ad or listing with a request to contact you, in
a way appropriate for the medium you are using.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Steps for clarifying who you are seeking for a relationship:
----------------------------------------------------------------
1. Write down the qualities of your ideal partner. Be as
specific as possible.

2. What type of person would your ideal partner be attracted
to? Looking through your ideal partner's eyes, make your best
guess and write it down. Don't automatically assume all of the
qualities will describe you. Be as specific as possible.

3. Does the list in #2 describe you? If not, are you willing to
grow and change so that it does? If not, go back and rewrite
your description of your ideal partner and describe a person who
will be attracted to the qualities you have.

4. Write a detailed description of the type of relationship you
want.

5. Would your ideal partner in #1 want the same type of
relationship? If not, start over. If yes, then you now have an
effective description of who you are seeking for a relationship.

6. Do not engage, date, or be intimate with people who do not
fit your ideal description.

The above steps are an effective way to actively attract your
ideal mate. Follow these steps to get very clear about what you
want in a mate and in a relationship. You will also get clear on
what you need to be willing to give. This is the kind of vital
information that you need in order to attract your ideal partner.

Your Relationship Coach,

Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2001. Do you know what it takes to be
happy and fulfilled in your relationships? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!


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