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"A man walks down the street and falls into a hole.
A man walks down the street, sees the hole and falls in to it.
A man walk down the street, sees the hole, and walks around it.
A man walks down a different street."
~Source Unknown

Relationships are kind of like that. Knowing what the "hole"
is, knowing that what you are doing is not bringing your desired
results gets you only that: knowledge. Knowledge is good. It's
better than being unconscious. But can you, on your own, walk
down a different street? What does it take to walk down a
different street when it comes to your relationships?

Given that our relationship patterns are subconscious, deeply
rooted and second nature, it may take someone other than you to
identify your patterns. In order to make a radical difference in
the way you relate, you literally need to see your own life
through someone else's eyes.

In a society where most of us practice the "I can do it myself"
philosophy, it is difficult to allow others to look at and help
you with your life. Asking for help carries a stigma. The voice
in your head says, "You can do this yourself. You can read
books. But don't you dare request guidance from another person."

On the other hand, we are in the information age. Information
is power. That is, information that is applied to consistent
action with passion is power. Information that sounds good with
no action on your part is more stuff to beat yourself up with.

More than a decade ago, I realized the way my relationships
were going would not get me what I wanted. I decided I needed
help from those who know what works, and who were doing
something different than I was. I proceeded to read all of the
books on the market about relationships. Then I got involved in
every workshop that came my way. I put aside my considerations
about money and time. I let go of my fear that I might be
learning from frauds. I stopped doubting and started to allow
the process of participation to shape and alter who I was. I was
very committed to shifting the way I approached relationships.
To me, there was nothing more important. It was not about my
ability to FIND a relationship, but my ability to HAVE a
healthy, vibrant relationship that became my focus. As a result,
I now have the type of relationship that feeds my soul. I have a
truly loving, present partner who adores me and whom I adore.

If you want a relationship that fits your ideal, your heart's
desire, I suggest you proceed on the same path. Learn from
people who have what you want. Actively apply it and make your
transformation your passion. Then the ideal relationship you
want will come into your life.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2001. This article was originally
published by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries in the
Relationship Coach Newsletter, one of many relationship
resources you can find at . Other resources
include relationship advice, quizzes, coaching and classes.
Visit and learn to become a True Love

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