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Reader Love Q&A; for People in Relationship - What To Do With a Cheating Heart

Q. Hi Coach,
I met this man who I thought was the best thing that ever
happened to me. Our relationship started off great. We were
together all the time, enjoying each other and then things
started to change. He stoped coming around like he used to. I
had a gut feeling that something wasn't right and I started my
own investigation. When I started asking questions, he became
upset, but then admitted that he was living with someone but
things were not working out. After he told me this, I kept
feeling like it was something more. He told me that he was
actually married, but he and his wife were not sleeping together
because he was trying to work some things out so he could get a
divorce.

I want to believe this man because I love him so much - he even
asked me to marry him before he told me he was married. He has
promised me that he is going to get a divorce and we will get
married. I don't know what to believe because he has lied to me
so many times before, but the worst part is, I still love him
but my heart is breaking more and more each day and I don't know
how much longer I can continue to go on this way. ~ Please Help!!


A. Dear Please Help,
Your best choice is to put the relationship on hold until you
know that your man is divorced. This is a difficult thing to do
because, as you said, you are in love with him. But it is the
only step that offers a chance of survival for your relationship.

You see, with every action you take you are teaching your partner
how to treat you. If you continue your relationship having been
lied to and now having to be the other woman, you are teaching
him that it's ok to lie to you. Even if he does eventually get a
divorce and you two get married, you will not able to trust him.

Walk away, clearly stating that you love him and that to save the
relationship you will not see him until he is free and single -
with proof of divorce papers - you have a chance of putting your
relationship on the right foot. This will help you to heal your
broken heart and help him step up and be the man of integrity you
deserve.

If you do this, make no mistake, you may lose the relationship
and this man. But if you don't, you will never really have him.
This will hurt, but you can do it. ~ Love Coach Rinatta Paries


(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"


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