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Reader Love Q&A; for Singles - The Consequence of Bad Choices

Q. Dear Coach,
I have had many relationships and have a son and have been
bringing him up on my own for 6 years. I was supposed to get
married last year but it didn't work out. I feel apathetic
about going out with a man again, I feel I have been over and
over the same stuff. It no longer interests me.

What can I do? I know I need get going again, but I feel
apathetic about it all...and thought that this feeling was just
temporary...but it's been over a year now. Do you have any
suggestions? ~ M

A. Dear M,
Sounds as if what you are tired of doing is the same thing over
and over again. You probably don't see an alternative to the
kind of men you have dated and the way you have built and
behaved in relationships with them. This is as if you were
trying to ride a bike with one crooked and warped wheel,
backwards, and finally, after trying over and over, you got
tired and got off, giving up.

To renew your interest in dating and to stop feeling apathetic,
you need to regain a sense of choice and power about love,
dating and relationships. Understanding why your love life has
not worked out so far will give you that power and choice. Look
deeply into the characteristics of the men you have been
choosing and why you choose them. Take a look at how your choice
of partners impacted the quality of your relationships with
these men. Take a long, deep look at how you have been
contributing to your relationships not working out by your own
behavior or what you have allowed in your relationships.

Once you can see what has not worked, you will begin to glimpse
the workable alternative. What you may want to do is learn how
to get a bicycle with straight wheels - a better suited parter,
and learn how to ride facing forward - act in relationship-
enhancing ways in your relationship. You don't have to give up
on love to give up on heartbreak. ~ Love Coach Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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