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What to do this Valentine's Day

Rarely does Valentine's Day pass by without you noticing. Even if you are single and think the day has no significance for you, when it arrives you will want a relationship more than usual. If you are in a relationship and Valentine's Day does not get celebrated, it may leave hurt and resentment in its wake.

Think of Valentine's Day as "Focus on Love Day". Do you think of it that way already? You will be surprised to know that many people secretly experience Valentine's Day as "Hurt About Lack of Love in My Relationship Day" or "Be Sad About Being Single Day."

If you truly start thinking about Valentine's Day as "Focus on Love Day", you can create a most romantic, joyful Valentine's Day-- whether or not you're in a relationship!

Below you will find ways to make your "Focus on Love Day" romantic and joyful, whether you are happily (or unhappily)in a long-term relationship, dating, or single.

Two Notes
For people in struggling relationships: don't make this the day that makes or breaks your relationship. Don't have expectations, as your relationship may not be able to sustain or fulfill them. Instead, take care of yourself by following the suggestions for singles below. Do something small for your partner. Look for
suggestions for couples below, but tone the activity down.

For people who are in a new relationship, or who are dating but aren't committed to each other, it's best not to have too many expectations about Valentine's Day. Follow the suggestions for singles below. Do something small for your dating partner. Look over the suggestions for couples below, but tone the activity down.

And now, 7 ways to make your "Focus on Love Day" romantic & joyful:

1. A Wonderful Day

Couples: Subtly question your partner about what he/she pictures as the perfect way to spend a day. Use this information to create a wonderful Valentine's Day for him or her.

Singles: If you had a partner, what would you have him or her do to create a perfect way for you to spend a day? Create this for yourself on Valentine's Day -- love yourself that much.

2. Beautiful Card + One Beautiful Rose

Couples: Buy or make a lovely card and then fill it to the brim with words of love, admiration and appreciation. By "fill it to the brim," I mean leave no white space untouched. Present it with one beautiful rose.

Singles: Buy or make a lovely card for yourself, and just as above, fill it to the brim with words you want to hear from your future partner. Seal the envelope and open it on Valentine's Day. Present it to yourself with one beautiful rose.

3. A Shower of Words

Couples: Write your loved one a love letter or poem and read it to him or her on Valentine's Day. Watch for the tears.

Singles: Write yourself a love letter or poem, exactly the way you would want it written by a partner. Read it to yourself out loud and have Kleenex ready.

4. Valentine's Day is Not Just for Women

Couples: Ladies, I have it on good authority that guys want to be celebrated, too. So give him a small, sweet thing he will appreciate.

Singles: Guys, give yourself that same wonderful Valentine's Day as a relationship partner would give you. You may feel silly, but you will also feel good.

5. The Gift of Communication

Couples: Men work on allowing your lady to talk about whatever her heart desires, and really listening. Talk to her, too, from your heart. No closing down, walling up or running away allowed. Ladies, work on letting your man talk without finishing his sentences, interrupting him, or moving on to the next topic. Also, try sitting down next to him in silence for a bit.

Singles: Either find a person who will listen to you the way you need to be heard, or give yourself space and time to listen to your own thoughts and feelings or to journal.

6. A Gift with Interest

Couples: Is your partner into computers, and you don't know a mouse from a monitor? Or is she into gardening, but to you a rose is just a rose? Give your partner the gift of your immersing yourself in his or her world.

Singles: Give yourself the gift of time to pursue interests. Take the time to do something that nourishes you and makes you happy.

7. The Trust

Couples: Give your partner the gift of trusting him or her to know how and when to take care of the relationship and you. Trust that your partner will do his or her best for Valentine's Day. Each of you give and listen for subtle requests. Then honor them.

Singles: Today, trust your process and your fate. Today, trust that you, too, will be loved and cherished by a partner. Today, remember all the people who already love and cherish you.

Need more personal help on What To Do this Valentine's Day? Check out a Valentine's questions-and-answers teleseminar with Coach Rinatta Paries being held this week.

Love Always!
Your Love Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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