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How To Make Time


When people get busy, hurried, and stressed they put aside their own needs and the needs of their relationships in the rush to get thing done. But when you are busy, hurried and stressed is when you need time for yourself and with your loved one(s) the most. Time and space nourish you, and allow you to be more effective - and being more effective means you get things done better and faster.

This is counterintuitive. Just when you think you have absolutely no time for yourself or your relationships (family or significant other), is when you should take the time in order to be more effective. Think of time you spend on yourself and on your relationships as time spent charging up your body and spirit.

How do you carve out that time? Here are a few suggestions to help you out.

1. You don't have to do everything you have to do

Sometimes people who feel overwhelmed want to do everything on their list as a way to relieve the pressure. This will not work because you simply will not get everything on your list done-and, if you came close, the list would start filling up again with additional must-do tasks.

What do you really have to do? Be as clear about this as you would be if you were advising a friend: only a few things on that list are really in the "must do" category. Erase the rest, forgive yourself for not doing those other things, and spend the freed-up time on yourself or your loved one(s).

2. Simplify

Look carefully at the items on your list that involve a lot of steps or look like they will take a lot of time. If they really must be done right now, is there a way to do them more simply, more directly? Think about your experience with complex projects, and how they often seem to double in complexity and in the time required as unexpected problems crop up or extra steps have to be added.

This may be the time to go for a "good enough" result, rather than a perfect one. Opt for simplicity and ease: it's ok not to struggle. Use the freed-up time to spend on yourself or your loved one(s).

3. Set a realistic to-do list for the day; stop when it's done

If you work for someone else, your boss only gets to tell you what to do during the hours he or she has paid for. Beyond that, if there is any justice in your work world, someone else has to do the things that you could not get to, or they have to wait.

Try this experiment: pretend that your to-do list has hired you for a certain number of hours each day. Work your hardest for your to-do boss in the time you have agreed on. And then stop for the day: enough is enough. You may need to pare down your idea of what you can reasonably accomplish in a day.

4. Take care of yourself

Do one (or more) self-care actions each morning. This can be vastly different for different people: from a 10 minute meditation to a short walk, to making sure you have some quiet time even if you have to get up 15 minutes early, to using a special body-care product, to applying moisturizer to your face, to making a special cup of tea or coffee before you run out the door. Do something easy, fast, and special to recharge your batteries and let you know you are important.

You will then find it easier to make better choices throughout the day, having been recharged a bit by your self-care action. You will be more likely, later in the day, to make wise decisions about making time for yourself and your loved one(s) instead of doing more stuff.

5. Set a drop to-do list time, before you drop from exhaustion

Set a time every day when you will stop everything you are doing to give yourself some space and time or spend time with your loved one(s). Make sure this is a time long before you drop from exhaustion. If you tend to pass out at 9 pm, make sure your alone or together time starts no later then 8:30. Better yet, make it 8 pm.

Alternatively, decide on a time that works best in your schedule and stop for half an hour to an hour in the middle of the day or early evening to spend time on yourself or on your loved one(s).

6. Refuel with love

It seems impossible during a busy period to carve out any time at all for yourself or for a loved one. But you can and you really should. We all know people function better on adequate sleep. But do you know that people function better on adequate love?

When you are spending time on yourself you are loving yourself. This self-love will nourish you and make you more effective.

When you are spending time on loved one(s) you are allowing yourself to be nourished by them/him/her and that will make you more effective as well.

Happy Holidays and remember to in-Joy!

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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