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Levels of Connection

In a relationship that fosters deep love and intimacy, both
partners work on maintaining their connection as they move
through their lives. The best of relationships only lose that
connection occasionally, managing to maintain it regardless of

I bet you want more "connection" in your relationship.
First, let's define the "connection" that we are talking about,
so that we can be clear we are on the same page.

Simply, connection is the experience of being connected. How do
you know you are connected? It's a feeling BOTH of you will
feel, and be able to acknowledge, with words such as "I feel
connected to you" or "I feel close to you". The key is that both
of you must have the feeling at the same time.

At a superficial level, when your connection is vibrant and
alive, you may notice that your thoughts run together without
your having to express them in words. It's more than just being
able to finish each other's sentences. You may find that when
you are out on a walk together you may notice the same things
out of all the things you see and pass by--the orange cat on the
green porch, the texture of a boulder, a child playing with a
kite. You may separately pick up on the same articles in the
newspaper or the broadcast news; may find that you are smiling
at the same time for no particular reason; may wake up when the
other wakes up.

On a deeper level, connection is expressed by the Sanskrit word
namaste: the divine spark in me acknowledges or sees the divine
spark in you. In other words, true connection is more than
liking one another--it is two real people seeing each other more
clearly than any external picture can show.

On a deeper level still, a connection is a feeling of oneness,
of familiarity to the point of feeling like family or as if you
belong together. However, do not mistake for what I am
describing here the feelings singles newly dating someone get.
Singles newly in a relationship may feel at one with the person
they are dating, but that is generally a feeling stimulated by
physical arousal, intense focus on the other, and the newness of
the situation - there is seldom if ever any deep reality to it.

Thank about this: what level of connection do you have in your
relationship and what level of connection would you rather have?
How will you help yourself and your partner achieve more

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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