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Communication Matters: why and about what

Communication is the heart of any relationship. It is not the
only thing that builds a feeling of closeness and intimacy. But
communication is one of a small group of actions that absolutely
must be present in order for the relationship to work.

Communication is essentially a way of connecting, of looking
inside each other. Without an honest look inside, two people may
exist side by side, may even function well in some ways, but
they will remain disconnected. Not even sex will bridge the gap
left by lack of communication. Because of this, communication is
on the highest priority list for partners who are in
relationship that works.

From the very beginning, a relationship should be built on a
foundation of good communication. Although a couple may not-
hopefully not-delve deeply into all areas of life as soon as
they meet, both people need to be aware that self-disclosure and
communication are what will build their relationship.

As the relationship deepens, the couple needs to learn how to
be in an ongoing dialog, keeping the conversation going and lines
of communication open as they move through their days. And if the
relationship falls apart and is being rebuilt, communication is
absolutely the first step in reestablishing intimacy and love.

This does not mean that there is never silence or space-there
must be for a relationship to function well. But communication
is to a healthy relationship as food is to a healthy person.
Instead of being a troublesome occurrence, it should be a normal,
everyday, ongoing, planned for, thought about, welcomed event.

A couple in a long-term relationship or marriage should be
communicating at least about the following subjects:
· What's on each other's minds
· Any feelings that are coming up for either partner about the
relationship and issues or events outside the relationship
· How they are working together as a couple, team, parents,
etc., and where problems seem to be lurking
· Plans for the immediate and distant future
· Anything that is not working in the relationship for either
or both partners
· Everything that is working in the relationship for either and
both partners
· Anything else that either partner feels a need to discuss

Both partners need to hear they are loved, cared about, and
found attractive. Both partners need to hear why they are
appreciated and loved by their partner. Both partners need to
reach out towards each other in communication to re-connect
whenever it begins to feel that they are not connected.

For all its importance, communication can be one of the most
troublesome tasks in a relationship. If you want to improve
yours, or learn how to rebuild it in your relationship, check
out a new eClass below.

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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