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Rebuilding Love

What does it take to make a relationship last, and to make it
last happily? How do some couples love each other for a
lifetime, while others struggle through unfulfilled, or break up?

If you are in a relationship that once worked but has now
fallen apart, you are probably looking for a way back to love.
You want to recapture the intimacy and love the two of you once
felt, and rebuild it or even make it better.

I am sure you intuitively know that before you can rebuild your
relationship, you both need to handle or at least be in the
process of handling what made it fall apart in the first place.
Love, happiness, and intimacy cannot be rebuilt on top of issues
and problems or on a foundation of animosity, anger, bitterness,
pain, fear, betrayal, etc.

How do you handle what's been ailing your relationship? A good
therapist or coach can help; but if you want to do some or all of
the work by yourselves, take a look at the Relationship and
Marriage Help Center Classes below in the Resources section of
the newsletter.

Once you have cleared up what has been ailing your relationship,
or while you are doing it, what do you do with each other? You
need to make sure to reconnect and not go back to old
unfulfilling behavior.

Specifically you need to take loving actions towards each other,
both of you in equal measure and on a regular basis. Some of
these actions can be the same ones as the two of you practiced
when you were first dating, while others can be new forms of
loving each other.

Most people don't work at being loving towards their partner
once they have been together for a while. It's as if once they
have "gotten" each other, they can just let the relationship run
on its own. That is a sure way to have a relationship disaster.

The more loving action you both take towards each other, the
faster and more deeply love will flow again into your
relationship. But without a renewed commitment to loving action
and, well, action, the love simply will not be able to come back.

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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