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The Rules of Dating

Here is a question I am asked quite a bit by many readers,
people at all stages of dating, from those just starting to
date to those who have gotten out of a relationship and are
newly dating again.

People ask, "What am I supposed to do when dating? How am I
supposed to act?" The answer is both simple and complicated.

There are trends in dating, as there are trends in fashion,
food, shopping, spending, etc. There are many trends, each with
a conflicting message. For example, on the issue of physical
intimacy, some say the trend is that physical intimacy is
expected within three dates. On the other hand, I just read an
article that said celibacy is back on the dating scene.

Trends shouldn't rule or guide your dating experience. There is
no particular way you are supposed to act when dating. If you
want positive results from dating- fun, and the potential for
a long-term relationship-you will act in a way that fits you.

Figure out what suits you when it comes to dating. How you
date, as well as who you date, needs to be an intimate
reflection of who you are. Self-knowledge is a key piece in
making dating both fun and a "productive" experience. To work on
gaining more self- knowledge in regard to dating, take a look at
the eclass listings in the resources section below.

There is one important part of dating trends that you do need
to be concerned about: You need to know how your dating partners-
and, later, your relationship partner-look at dating.

If you get together with a person who thinks physical intimacy
should happen at the beginning of the relationship, and you
don't, what do you do?

One way to handle this before any problems arise is to have a
"getting to know each other" casual conversation about dating at
the beginning. Find out generally how each of you thinks dating
progresses, what happens in the process, and what the end result
should be.

If the two of you generally match up, you are in luck. The
going should be easy. If you don't, you can try negotiating with
each other about how your dating relationship should progress.
But more typically, people who don't match up in their
expectations of how dating progresses, simply don't end up

The bottom line is: dating is a very personal experience. How you
date should not be based on trends, or what anyone else thinks -
it should be based on who you are and what
you want to achieve.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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