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How We Build Relationships

Our culture has a misconception about how to connect
with each other for successful, happy, intimate partnerships.
Here is how it goes.

Singles tend to believe that mutual attraction is "the" way to
start a relationship. If strong mutual attraction is present,
the misconception goes, then you are meant to be together and
are perhaps even soul mates. And if you are indeed soul mates,
then why not get started on your life together immediately?
Starting your life together means spending as much time together
as possible. Seemingly this makes sense. You are attracted to
each other, exited about each other, and want to integrate into
your life as a couple.

But the attraction only goes so far, which is not very far at
all. Attraction is a kind of glue, mostly for the bedroom part
of your relationship. It does spill over to the rest of the
relationship a bit; it helps you to like each other, to be a bit
more tolerant of differences and find a way to accept some
mildly bothersome behaviors in each other.

Attraction, however, does not help with life compatibility at
all. Mutual attraction says nothing about your individual
financial goals, status, or compatibility. It says nothing about
whether or not you want children or about your style of
parenting. Attraction does nothing to help both people be on the
same page about personal growth. Attraction does absolutely
nothing in terms of helping you communicate in a similar or
compatible style. Attraction does not help you have similar
values or treat each other in a way that makes the other person
feel loved and cherished. Attraction does nothing to help you
mutually handle anger and frustration in a healthy way.
Attraction does not help you handle flirtations with people
outside the relationship, as you may have different ways of
perceiving such situations. Attraction does not help you deal
with lifestyle issues, such as work, living situations, chores,
and responsibilities. Attraction does not help you want to get
married, engaged, or move in together.

Attraction simply brings you together and can keep the
relationship going, even if the relationship is only an empty
shell. It does not help you create a functional relationship
where both of you will be happy and satisfied and feel loved and
wanted.

So should attraction be completely ignored? Should you get into
a relationship with a person even if there is no initial spark?

If you would like to know what to do with attraction and how to
use it to get into a wonderful relationship, enroll in a brand
new web class, "How Not to Blow it in a New Relationship."

This class is posted online in a secure area of my website and
can be accessed by anyone from anywhere with a computer and
Internet.

The "How Not to Blow it in a New Relationship" web class will
show you the five worst mistakes people make in brand new
relationships and everything you need to know to avoid these
mistakes. You will also be given healthy, relationship-promoting
actions to build up and strengthen your new relationship.

I am still finalizing this class. Although it's taking longer
to complete than anticipated, students will receive
significantly more material than originally outlined. And you
can still enroll now and receive a 20% discount -- but only for
a short while longer until the material is complete. For more
information on the class and to enroll, go to
www.whatittakes.com/classes/newrel.html.

Your Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries


(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"


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