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Relationship Lessons

For some reason, when I think of relationship lessons I start
thinking of country songs. You know..."You gotta know when to hold
them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when
to run." Ok, I know, enough of that.

The list of 10 relationship lessons below can be applied to any
relationship, be it romantic or business. It can also be
applied to any situation -- romantic or otherwise.

Do you have something you want to add to this list? If so,
send an email to

1. All relationships get difficult at one point or another, be
they romantic relationships, friendships, work relationships, or
family. Eventually, they are also supposed to get better.

2. If a relationship is not getting any better, communicate. If
nothing changes and you are not being heard, get help. If still
nothing changes over time, there may be nothing else to do but

3. Don't act on your first reaction to a situation. Our first
reaction is often too strong and too emotional to make good

4. Time will always tell as nothing else will -- give it a
week, or a month, or three moths to see if you are dating the
right person, or if your current relationship is going anywhere,
or how a bothersome situation will resolve itself. Rushing
things almost never works.

5. Don't tolerate what's not working for you indefinitely.
Beyond a reasonable amount of time for things to work themselves
out, issues and situations that bother you need to be resolved.
Otherwise, they will drain your energy and happiness.

6. Don't settle for people and relationships that have problems
you have to tolerate from day one. The only exception is if
you can clearly see that the problems are being dealt with and

7. Follow the path of least resistance. If it seems too
difficult, it is. Find another way to be, to communicate, or to
turn the relationship around. Find a different solution to the
situation. Do not try to bulldoze through people and
relationships to make them your way -- that never works.

8. Don't rush into situations, even if they look promising, as
if you are going to get everything you have always wanted. Only
time will tell what the nature of a situation really is.

9. Just because someone describes himself or herself a
particular way, does not mean that is how it is. People do tend
to misrepresent who and what they are. This is not done to be
deceitful, but is done simply because it is hard to see who we
end up being in a relationship. Only the actual relationship and
time will tell who the person turns out to be.

10. Talk about what's going on with an outsider to get a fresh
perspective. I find this lesson true over and over! There is
nothing like an unstressed, calm outside perspective to give me
a good handle on a difficult situation and to help me clarify
what to do about it.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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