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Pulling Yourself into a Great Relationship

There are times in our lives when we feel our goals and desires
pulling us forward. Other times we feel as though we are pushing
to reach our goals.

To be pulled forward by a goal makes it more likely that you
will achieve it. When you are pulled forward, serendipity
happens, doors open, things seem easier. It becomes more
possible to achieve the things you want.

A goal pulls you forward when achieving it does not create an
internal conflict of interest. A goal pulls you forward when it
snugly fits who you are and what you want. A goal pulls you
forward when realizing it seems likely.

If your goal, your desire, does not meet at least one of the
above criteria, you will find yourself pushing toward your goal
rather than being pulled by it. Pushing toward a goal may still
make it happen. But you will be struggling, losing faith,
getting disappointed and hopeful intermittently, and expending a
lot of energy in the process. You may walk away in frustration
before you achieve what you want.

Needless to say, it is better, easier, to be pulled forward by
your goal, your desire.

So, are you being pulled toward or are you pushing for your
goal of attracting your right mate and creating your right

Many singles and people in relationships are pushing for a
relationship. While some do attract and create good
relationships this way, the majority continue struggling and
getting disappointed. Those who give up the struggle to allow
themselves to be pulled attract mates more quickly and easily
and have an easier time building a good relationship.

How do you allow your desire for a healthy relationship and a
wonderful mate pull you forward? Follow the three steps below.

1. Resolve the internal conflict of interest.
Say to yourself, out loud, "I want to be in a wonderful
relationship," or something similar about your goal. As you say
this to yourself, notice how you feel. Pay attention to any
words or phrases that immediately come to mind. You might hear
yourself saying there are no potential partners out there; I
will get hurt; I am afraid no one will love me. You may also
feel a tightening in your gut, or some fear.

Write down the negative comments you made and the emotions that
came up. Find resourceful ways to deal with them. Understand
that you cannot attract a loving partner if you think such a
partner does not exist. Dig into your emotions and look at what
is behind them. What makes you afraid, sad, etc.?

Get to a point where you can say what you want, out loud, and
all you feel is joy and excitement about the possibilities of it.

2. Make sure the kind of partner and relationship you are reaching
for fits who you are.
What kind of relationship do you want? What's most important to
you? What kind of a partner will fit you? You need to be clear
on the character traits you are seeking so you can recognize the
person when you see him or her. Otherwise you will be choosing
partners by chemistry alone, which seldom if ever works out.

3. It is likely you will get the love you want.
Can you believe it is likely you will have the love you want?
If you can't, then you probably won't find that love. We don't
usually try to achieve things we think are unlikely. If you
believe it's impossible, you will not take the necessary steps
to make it possible.

This one is a major shift — from resignation or searching, to
having the faith and the patience to do and learn the necessary
things to attract the love of your life.

Set your mind to having your relationship goals pull you
forward and you are certain to realize your dream relationship.
If you need help with any of these steps, you know I am here for

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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