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A Key Relationship Difference Between Men and Women

It's been said a million times in many different ways -- men and
women are different. Understanding the inherent differences
between the sexes is an industry. Consider the success of the
"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" series.

But what are the real differences between the sexes?

Here is one basic but important difference that, once
understood, can help singles and couples create more satisfying,
successful relationships.

Women tend to assign relationship meaning to almost all
interactions, while men tend to assign no relationship meaning
to almost all interactions. Women focus on the relationship too
much and the men not enough, and this is how relationships get
into trouble.

Keep reading to see what this means and how it's relevant to
your relationship.

Women look at almost every interaction as either relationship
promoting or distance promoting.

Obviously if a woman is interested in the relationship, she
would like most interactions to be relationship promoting, i.e.
bringing her partner and her closer together. On the other hand,
when a woman loses interest in a relationship or is angry and
ambivalent about the relationship, almost every action she takes
will be distance promoting — pushing her partner away.

Men look at interactions as serving a purpose — communication
of information, accomplishment of a task, entertainment, etc.
It's not that they do not take actions that promote closeness —
they certainly do. But, on a daily basis, especially once the
relationship is somewhat established, men rarely look at
interactions through the lens of the relationship.

For example, if a woman is calling a man on the phone, she is
likely looking to connect. Yet he may listen to her for what she
needs in terms of information, solutions, etc. On the other
hand, a man may call a woman and she may misinterpret his
communication as reaching out to her, when in reality he is
accomplishing a task. Or the reverse may happen — she may
interpret him pushing her away, while he is simply trying to
accomplish a task — to set a date perhaps, or communicate
something important.

The result? Both people end up frustrated, confused about what
the other person wants, means or intends, and where the
relationship is going.

If this fits for your relationship, here is simple solution.

For women: Realize that not every interaction has relationship
meaning. Do not assign relationship meaning to interactions with
a man, unless the meaning is obvious. Better yet, ask him if
there is meaning behind his actions.

For men: If you are in a relationship with a woman, realize she
needs closeness. Focus on the relationship some of every day,
showing love, affection and attention toward her in some of your
interactions with her.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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