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Ways to be Romantic

Rarely does Valentine's Day pass by without your notice. Even
if you are single and think the day has no significance, the day
will arrive and you will want a relationship more than usual. If
you are in a relationship and Valentine's Day does not get
celebrated, it will leave hurt and resentment in its wake.

I invite you to think of Valentine's Day as "Focus on Love
Day," as opposed to "Hurt About Lack of Love Day" or "Ignore
Being Single Day."

Below you will find ways to make your "Focus on Love Day"
extraordinarily romantic, whether you are in a long-term
relationship, dating, or are single.

A note for people who are in a new relationships, or who are
dating someone but are not in a committed relationship. At the
beginning of a relationship, it is best not to have too many
expectations about how Valentine's Day will be celebrated. It is
also best not to get disappointed if it is not celebrated in
just the way you would want. In time, as you and your partner
get closer, both of you will be able to celebrate Valentine's
Day and other holidays in more meaningful ways.

This Valentine's Day, create a perfect "Focus on Love Day" for
yourself, regardless of what your dating partner may or may not
have planned for you. Look at the suggestions for singles below.

Then, do something small, but meaningful for your dating
partner. Look for suggestions for couples below, but tone the
activity down a bit.

And now, 10 ways to make your "Focus on Love Day"
extraordinarily romantic:

1. A Wonderful Day

See if you can start to notice what your partner dreams about,
wishes for. Listen for small, attainable things that can make a
big difference. Alternatively, subtly question your partner about
what he/she pictures as the perfect Valentine's Day. Now take
the information you have gathered and make it into a wonderful day
for him or her.

If you had a partner, what would you have him or her do to
create your a wonderful Valentine's Day? Create it for yourself--
love yourself that much.

2. The Beautiful Card + One Beautiful Rose

Buy or make a lovely card and then fill it to the brim with
words of love, admiration and appreciation. By "fill it to the
brim," I mean leave no white space untouched. Present it with
one beautiful rose.

Buy or make a lovely card for yourself, and just as above, fill
it to the brim with words you want to hear from your future
lover. Seal the envelope and open it on Valentine's Day. Present
it to yourself with one beautiful rose.

3. Valentine's Day is Not Just for Women

Ladies, I have it on good authority that guys want to be
celebrated too. So get him flowers and candy and a card, too.

Guys, give yourself that same wonderful Valentine's Day as a
relationship partner would give you. You may feel silly, but you
will also feel good.

4. Say Goodbye to Obligation, Say Hello to Open Heart

Don't give or do anything out of obligation this Valentine's
Day. Give only from your heart, from love and treasuring your
partner. No matter how good or bad your relationship is going,
get in touch with how much you truly love and appreciate your
partner. Give from that space.

Don't beat yourself up for not having a partner. You have not
failed. You are not bad. Valentine's Day can be "Focus on Love
for Yourself Day" as easily as "Focus on Love for Another Day."

5. The Gift of Undivided Attention

Give your partner the gift of undivided attention and see if
she or he doesn't find that the most romantic thing going.

Give yourself the gift of your own undivided attention. Take
away all of the distractions and be with yourself the way you
would want your partner to be with you.

6. Gift of Communication, I

Men, allow your woman to talk about whatever her heart desires,
and listen. Ladies, let your man talk or answer your question
without finishing his sentences for him, interrupting him, or
moving on to the next topic. See if this doesn't make sparks fly.

Either find a person who will listen to you the way you need to
be heard, or give yourself space and time to listen to your own
thoughts and feelings or to journal.

7. Gift of Communication, II

Ladies, give your man the gift of sitting down next to him in
silence. No talking allowed. Men, give your lady the gift of
talking and sharing from your heart. No closing down, walling up
or running away allowed.

Either silence or open heart, give yourself whichever one you

8. A Gift with Interest

Is your partner into computers, and you don't know a mouse from
a monitor? Or is she into gardening, but to you a rose is just a
rose? Give your partner the gift of your interest in something
that is important to him or her. Go ahead, ask your partner a
question about it and see the smile light up his or her face.

Give yourself the gift of time to pursue your important
interests. Take the time to do something that nourishes you and
makes you happy.

9. The Trust

Ladies, give the man in your life the gift of trusting him to
know how and when to take care of himself and you. Trust that he
will do the best he can for Valentine's Day. Gentlemen, hold her
trust sacred, and learn to listen for subtle requests. Then
honor them. The celebration of love will feel good to both of

Today, trust your process and your fate. Today, trust that you
too will be loved and cherished by a partner. Today, remember
all the people who already love and cherish you.

10. A Shower of Words

Write your loved one a love letter or poem and read it to them
on Valentine's Day. Here come the tears.

Write yourself a love letter or poem, exactly the way you would
want it written by a lover. Read it to yourself out loud and
have Kleenex ready.

Plan to have a happy Valentine's Day!

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

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